Monday, June 15, 2009

crazy bitch

crazy bitch
I am having the craziest week. I wonder if i'm caught in some kind of time vortex that keeps slamming up against itself (as vortexes can sometimes do). My harddrive on my laptop crashed the other day, out of nowhere, and now they're saying I need a new one. My bike got stolen (couple weeks ago), I had to cancel this amazing party that was going to happen tonight (because of venue constraints--i need a new venue now) and then on my way home from delores park today, i had a weird bike/car interaction (it gets all congested at 23rd and mission) so i was taking up the whole lane and then pulled over to let cars go by, and this woman leans out her window and yells "Bitch, learn how to ride a bike!" and so I responded with my quippy mouth, "Bitch, learn how not to be a Bitch!" (spontaneous reaction is not always clever). I rode on, not really thinking much of it and then I got to Folsom and passed her again. I heard her yelling and open her door behind me as I rode by, and realized she was trying to door me! So I was thinking 'shit, this bitch wants to fuck me up'. So I rode home fast, going through all the reds, imagining that she was going to pull over and fight. I got home, walked up the steps and had my bike between me and the door, like a gate, and she screetched up and ran up the steps and screamed "Don't call me a bitch!" and punched me in the face. So there was this scuffle of hair grabbing, choking, kicking and her yelling various things like "bitch!" and "I got a baby in the car!" and "Man, I hate bitches that pull hair!" as she's pulling my hair. Calling me a bitch and telling me not to call her one. Talking about her baby.

Her face was pocketed and covered in makeup and little bandaids. Everything was drawn on, her eyes, her eyebrows, her mouth. A masked assailant. Her hair was ironed and fried and fake and straw-like. She wasn't a person. She was ugly rage. How do you reason with someone like that? I mean, that's usually how I get myself out of these situations, normally. Because she's not the first person to mouth off at me and get some mouth right back. She's not the first stranger i've infuriated with my mouth. But usually i just get smart with them or whatever, and no punches are thrown. But she was all punches, no vocab. It was kind of exhilerating. I've always liked a good adrenalyn rush. But my body hurts and she broke my amazing vintage sunglasses. It hurts to swallow and I feel like I have whip-lash. My neck is sore and stiff, and I have a goose egg on my face and an ugly red scratch on my neck.

but you should have seen the other guy.

(I think i'm gonna start thinking about keeping my little comments to myself.)

h